Question by Camille: Have you ever heard these jokes before?
Why did the ram fall over the cliff ?
He didn’t see the ewe turn !
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A firefighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with small ladders on the sides, a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter takes a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire-truck,” the fire fighter says with high regard.
Thanks,” says girl says!
The firefighter notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s tail.
“Little lady,” the firefighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but…then I wouldn’t have a siren!
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The Wood
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there Scotty!” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s yet another wee one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby. “No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man… It seems there’s yet another one besides!” cried the doctor. The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”
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New Car
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.
He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around
town.
He would probably have settled on any beat-up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 10 seconds or less and my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new set of bathroom scales.
Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
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Depressed – Clean Joke
There’s this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.”
“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife left me for the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison…”
Best answer:
Answer by Spam
nope
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